33 Fuzzy Jokes About Animals
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bawking Dead.
How are wicked chickens born?
From deviled eggs.
How can you tell if a chicken’s the boss?
There's a pecking order.
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?
Because it's bound to squeal.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Where did the cow get his fancy wooden furniture?
From a cattle log.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What kind of dog loves the salon?
A Shampoodle.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
When is it absolutely justified to look out for number one?
When your dog isn't house trained.
What's got four legs and one arm?
A good guard dog.
What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say?
Wheeeee!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
Becaaauuwwwse!
What do you call a dancing lamb?
A baaaaaaalerina.
What did the leopard say to the chef after dinner?
He said, "That really hit the spots."
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?
Quacks in the pavement.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are really good at it.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
You’ll find footprints in the cheesecake.
Why did Chicken Little cross the road?
To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling.
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, "Odor in the court!"
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Call it anything you want, it can’t hear you now.
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colors?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?
In the Ark-hives.
What's the problem with elephant poaching?
Everyone knows they're best when they're grilled.
What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse?
Catch.
Where do jungle animals go for help quitting a bad habit?
A hypnopotamus.
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Why are fish always swimming in schools?
Because they can never get above C level.
Why did the turtle lose the jousting competition?
He was a slow poke.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
How do police identify the prime suspect in a cat burglary?
They look for the purr-petrator.