Jokes About Cows
If you cross bees with cows, that’s all you can have on a farm. Why is that?
There’s no good reason. It’s just bee cows.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where did the cow get his fancy wooden furniture?
From a cattle log.
Why did the cow roll over onto his back?
To get to the udder side.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the cows fight?
They had real beef.
What do you call it when you see the same cow twice?
Deja moo.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak-out.
What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster?
Roost beef.
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
It is either one or the udder.
Did you hear about the rancher who had 97 cows in his field?
When he rounded them up, he had 100.
What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
CowBOOM!
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Why do the cows come home when the coffee is ready?
It’s a classic case of the pot calling the cattle back.
Where do cows like to go on a date?
To mooooovies.
Did you hear about the cowboy who got himself a dachshund?
Everyone kept telling him to get a long, little doggie.
What kind of math to they teach to farm animals?
Cowculus.
Why don't cattle ranchers work in the mountains?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call a tired bull?
A bulldozer.
Why should sneaky people wear leather?
It's literally made of hide.
Why is it tough to play poker with cattle farmers?
They're always raising the steaks.
What did the farmer say when asked how long cows should be milked?
You milk them the same amount of time as the short cows.
How do cows make themselves pretty?
Cowsmetics.