Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What washes up on very small beaches?
Microwaves
What is the most expensive fish to swim with?
A shark. It can cost an arm and a leg.
Why is the ocean embarrassed?
Because all of the fish can see its bare bottom.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why didn't the pirate shower before he had to walk the plank?
He knew he'd be washing up on shore later.
Why did the new doofus navy use glass bottom boats?
So they could see the old doofus navy.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they fly over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Why does an octopus laugh a lot?
Because it always has ten tickles.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, of course. Oceans can't talk. They just waved.
Why do sharks live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you get when you throw a billion books into the ocean?
A title wave.
Why are the oceans so well informed?
They like to keep up with current events.
Why did the dolphin hunter quit his job?
He felt it was defeating the porpoise.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You might think it's R but his first love will always be the C.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?
He was too far out, man.
Because the shore never waves back.
Why does beach sand make the ocean emotional?
It's quite a profound sediment.
Who are the best mimics in the ocean?
Orcas. They do a killer whale impression.
What thinks the unthinkable?
An ithberg with a thpeech impediment.
What do you call a man adrift on the ocean?
Bob.
What's a good question to ask someone who might not be able to kayak?
Canoe?
Why don't clams lift weights?
They don't have mussels.
How do you cut the ocean in half?
With a sea saw.
Why are fish always swimming in schools?
Because they can never get above C level.
The sea weed.
Where do shrimp sell their collectables?
At a prawn shop.
How do fish get to the hospital?
In a clam-bulance.
How do fish stay so healthy?
They take plenty of vitamin sea.
Who held the baby octopus for ransom?
Squidnappers.