What do you get if you boil your funny bone?
A laughing stock (it's really humerus).
Why did the cook cry about boiling water?
Because he knew it would be mist.
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What did the leopard say to the chef after dinner?
He said, "That really hit the spots."
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.
Why did the woman switch the labels on the spice rack?
She was afraid that the thyme was cumin.
What was the gingerbread man's favorite blanket?
It was a cookie sheet.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can't opener.
Did you hear about the chef who injured himself cutting cheese?
He felt grate when it happened.
Did you hear about the guy who made pizzas for extra cash?
He kneaded the dough.
What do you call an explosion in a french kitchen?
Linoleum Blownapart
What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Just a little quiche.
What do redheads use to make sandwiches?
Ginger bread.
What's the problem with elephant poaching?
Everyone knows they're best when they're grilled.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
If you mash potatoes you don't need to call a doctor.
Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?
Because icing is not allowed.
What's the most boring cut of meat?
Filet Minyawn.
What do you call a red-headed baker?
A ginger bread man.