How often should you tell jokes about basic elements?
Periodically.
Have you heard about the world's most famous water spy?
Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
Why did she quit her job at the helium factory?
She simply refused to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
What did everyone say when Oxygen and Magnesium got married?
They were like, OMg!
Where did the chemist sometimes have his lunch?
On a periodic table.
What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.
What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
Aaaaargon.
Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
How can you tell a plumber from a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
Why are chemists so frequently drunk?
They regard alcohol as a solution.
What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
The atoms family.
When do you stop telling chemistry jokes?
When all the good ones argon.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry between them.
Are there any good jokes about sodium?
Na.
What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common?
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, you may have to barium.
What do you call a chemist with fake breasts dressed as a clown in jail?
Silicon.
Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements?
If you can't curium or helium, you barium.
Did you hear the joke about alkaline metal?
It gets a good reaction.
Why did the science kid recite the alphabet as A B C D E F G water P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Because he heard water was H2O.
Why can't you trust a centrifuge on a submarine?
It's a subterfuge.
How much is a pint of adenosine triphosphate in a British pub?
80p.
What do you do when you're out of chemistry jokes?
If the jokes really argon, just zinc of a new one.
Why was one element refusing to speak to the other element?
He was mad atom.