Did you hear about the lady who got too excited about the arrival of spring?
She was so happy she wet her plants.
What’s the scariest plant in the jungle?
BamBOO!
How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
What did the grass do when it didn’t rain?
It just had to make dew.
What do you call a retired vegetable?
A has bean.
What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?
They rose.
What kind of flower grows on your face?
Two lips.
Why are flowers friendly with each other in the Spring?
They're going to be buds.
Why is the letter 'A' like a flower?
Because a 'B' is always hovering nearby.
Who will plant seeds in the spring?
Whoever has botany.
What made the great carrot detective so famous?
He could get to the root of the case.
What kind of lion doesn't roar?
A dandelion.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg.
Why do plants hate algebra?
They don't like square roots.
What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like?
They turnip their noses.
Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?
It was a chessnut.
Did you hear about Jack, who speaks to his crops?
Jack and the beans talk.
What do you call a tree that hates this joke?
A face palm.
What's green, itchy, and administered by evil doctors?
Poison IV.
What's the sad truth about a talking tree?
It will dialogue.
What kind of car runs on leaves?
An autumn-mobile.
What's the worry when you're poked by a head of lettuce?
It's just the tip of the iceburg.
What is the simplest way to describe an acorn?
It's an oak tree, in a nut shell.
Why are trees happy when Spring time comes?
It's a re-leaf.
What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate?
Spruce Lee.
Where do trees learn math?
Elementree school.
What happens when a gardener gets too excited?
He wets his plants.
What vegetable is cool, but only sort of cool?
A radish.