Did you hear about the satellite dishes who got married?
The ceremony was dull, but the reception was amazing.
Why did the computer get mad at the printer?
Because it didn’t like its toner voice.
Why are spiders great web developers?
They like finding bugs.
Did you hear about the man who implanted a chip in his body to stop hunger?
In fact, he implanted a whole bag of chips.
Why did the lonely man sympathize with batteries?
He was never included in anything either.
What's the problem with modern, paperless offices?
Nothing, until you have to go to the bathroom.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
How much does a dead battery cost?
It’s free of charge.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself on the big screen TV?
HDMI.
What was a more useful invention than the first telephone?
The second telephone.
What Jedi is the best with Photoshop?
Adobe Wan Kenobi
How do trees access the internet?
They log in.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.
Why did the capacitor kiss the diode?
He just couldn't resistor.
What was the first potato in space?
Spudnik.
Why did the electric car finish the race early?
It had a short circuit.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.
Why did the student worry about using a calculator for the first time?
She wasn't sure she could count on it.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't gotten a gig.
Why did Sweden paint barcodes on their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
Neither did he.
How did the scientist respond when his assistant said that the did not understand the alien cloning machine?
That makes two of us.
Why did the programmer make it a point to be good?
He was worried about syntax.
Why did they name the printer Bob Marley?
It kept jammin'.
How many tech-support people does it take to change a light bulb?
Please continue to hold. Your call is very important to us.
How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
They might report that the room is dark, but that's as far as that goes.
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
When the printer has a paper jelly, it's a mess.
What do you call friends you listen to music with?
Earbuds.
What's a good password that's at least eight characters long?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Why did the telegraph operators fall in love?
They just clicked.
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
At least three or four. But they'll swear up and down that it was just as easy as it would be for a Mac user.