Jokes About Time
What time is your dentist appointment?
Tooth-hurty
What happened to the clock that was still hungry?
It went back four seconds.
Why did the man choose not to sleep for a whole week?
Because that would be too long to sleep.
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days.
Did you finally watch that documentary on clocks?
It's about time.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
Why did everyone leave grandma's birthday party after only one minute?
Because it was her sixty-second birthday.
Why shouldn’t you eat clocks?
It can be very time consuming.
Why isn't there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock roach.
When do you pay for a watch repair?
Wait until the time is right.
How long is one minute?
It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on if you really gotta go.
The bartender said, "Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."
A time-traveler walks into a bar.
What do you call a nose that can see into the future?
Nostrildamus.
Why don't rabbits live very long?
They're on burrowed tiime.
Why was the computer late for work?
It's a hard drive.
What did villain say to the clock that would not stop ticking?
We have ways of making you tock.