Why do true musicians never play instruments by ear?
Because it always sounds better if they use their hands.
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
What's the difference between God and a rock star?
God doesn't walk around thinking he's a rock star.
Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?
Because he was Haydn.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't gotten a gig.
What do you call a bashful piano composer that smokes?
Shycoughski
What do you call a musician with problems?
A trebled man.
Why did they name the printer Bob Marley?
It kept jammin'.
Did you hear about the opera singing monk?
He took a vow of Pavarotti.
What’s the difference between black-eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chickpeas can hummus one.
How do you call a cellist?
With a cello-phone.
Why are musicians afraid of the key of E minor?
It gives them the E B G Bs.
Why do pirates make great singers?
Because they always hit the high C.
Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord?
Because it was baroque.