What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.
Why did the new doofus navy use glass bottom boats?
So they could see the old doofus navy.
Where does the General keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
Why did Sweden paint barcodes on their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
What do you call a soldier filling in for the day?
A submarine.
What happens when you eat too many Navy beans?
You end up with a dishonorable discharge.
What does a real Army soldier have in common with a little green Army toy?
If you step on one, you're in for a world of pain.
What’s the difference between the Boy Scouts and the military?
The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.
What is a soldier’s least-favorite date?
March 4th.
Why is the Army so strict about uniforms?
To minimize casual tees.
Where does the bear army store its weapons?
In the bearracks.