What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste, mostly.
What’s the difference between a booger and broccoli?
Kids won’t eat broccoli.
What’s the worst thing about cleaning out a monkey's bathroom?
The mess is absolutely bananas.
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Eew. That's gross. Don't touch them.
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he hits the windshield of a car?
His backside.
What’s worse than finding a worm when you bite into your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Some kids don't like to eat broccoli.
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It can run in your jeans.
What are the 2 reasons why you shouldn’t drink toilet water?
Number 1 and Number 2.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and wall paper?
No? That's pretty gross.
What happens when you eat ten cans of alphabet soup?
You can expect a massive vowel movement.
Why was the snowman embarrassed to be seen looking at carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Forgetfulness and diarrhea. You’re running, but you don't know where and can’t remember why.