What was the man’s favorite piece of furniture?
His recliner. They go way back together.
What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it could kill you.
A pool table.
What do you say to the person who stole your bed?
I won't rest until I find you.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your breakfast table?
Time to get a new breakfast table.
Why was the man smiling when all of his lamps were stolen?
He was delighted.
Did you hear about the guy who fell onto an upholstery machine?
It’s ok. He’s fully recovered.
How do you make a water bed bouncier?
Use spring water.
Who designed the famous round table for King Arthur and his knights?
Sir Cumference.
Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines.
How do you explain that you don't like your aunt's old teak furniture?
You're anti auntie's antique teak.
Where did the cow get his fancy wooden furniture?
From a cattle log.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets.