What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?
A desserter.
What’s the best way to get rid of a fat demon?
Exorcise regularly.
Does everyone understand what a weight-loss mantra is?
Fat chants.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why did the man choose not to sleep for a whole week?
Because that would be too long to sleep.
What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories?
Leave the pizza in the oven.
Have you heard the joke about yoga?
Nevermind its a bit of a stretch.
Did you hear about the guy who was hiding from exercise?
He was in the fitness protection program.
Why did the woman delay her diet plans?
She had too much on her plate right now.
When is the worst time to have a heart attack?
While performing in charades.
How do fish stay so healthy?
They take plenty of vitamin sea.
What is a prize old people can win for aging?
Atrophy.