What did the doctor tell the woman who broke her arm in two places?
Stop going to those places.
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?
Yes, if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it dangerous to get two medical professionals together?
Because then you might have a paradox.
What did the doctor tell the patient who was afraid of squirrels?
He thought his patient must be nuts.
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital?
The hip replacement doctor.
Why did the pediatrician lose his temper?
Because he had very little patients.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why can it be a problem when physicians deliver a baby?
A baby needs its liver to survive.
Where does a sailor go for vision problems?
He goes to the aye, aye doctor.
What's green, itchy, and administered by evil doctors?
Poison IV.
What do you tell a doctor who gives you a painless injection?
Good jab.