How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has to really want to be changed.
Where do jungle animals go for help quitting a bad habit?
A hypnopotamus.
Did you hear about the book on Stockholm Syndrome?
It's painful in the beginning, but you'll end up loving it.
What do you say to someone who steals your anti-depressants?
I hope you're happy.