What is the longest word in the english language?
No it's not.
Why can't you explain puns to thieves?
They always take things... literally.
What do elves learn in kindergarten?
The elfabet.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What kind of Dinosaur knows the most words?
A Thesaurus
What did the kid say when his teacher asked him to name two pronouns?
Who? Me?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the toilet?
Because the “P” is silent.
Did you hear about the guy who was only familiar with 25 letters in the alphabet?
He didn't really know why.
Why can’t you go through a campground?
Because you can only went. In a campground, the only way through is past tents.
What starts with a W and ends with a T.
It really does.
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Why should you never date an apostrophe?
They can be possessive.
Who helps Santa check his grammar on the letters he writes to all the little kids?
Subordinate clauses.
Why do you need to be careful with a bowl of alphabet soup?
It could spell disaster.
What should you say to comfort someone who's worried about correct grammar?
There, their, they’re.
What’s the smartest insect?
A spelling bee.
What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?
A condescending con descending.
What do you say to the person who stole your dictionary?
I have no words.
Why is the letter 'A' like a flower?
Because a 'B' is always hovering nearby.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. There’s a mile between the first letter and the last letter.
C, eh, N, eh, D, eh.
What do you call a person with a thesaurus but no money?
Impecunious.
What did Timmy say when the teacher asked him to name two pronouns?
Who? Me?