Did you hear about the square that got into a car accident?
Now he’s a rect-angle.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was going through a bad stage in his career.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
Darn it! Foiled again!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What caused the angry witch to get into a broom crash?
She flew off the handle.
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
What do you call the wizard who fell down the stairs?
Tumbledore.
How did the doofus break his arm while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?
The business is toast.
What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?
Oops! My fault!
What happened to the guy who fell into a lens-grinding machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
Did you hear about the little boy who went to the hospital after eating fifteen toy horses?
It's ok. He's in stable condition.
How did the doofus crash his helicopter?
When it got too cold he turned off that big fan.
Why did the car get a flat tire?
Because there was a fork in the road.
How can you tell if you're young or old?
Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.
What do you call an explosion in a french kitchen?
Linoleum Blownapart
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was 3 feet deep, on average.
Did you hear about the college professor who was involved in a car wreck?
He was grading papers on a curve.
How often do planes crash?
Just once.
How do you explain falling down the stairs?
Step 1. Step 2. Step 4. Step 7. Step 12. Floor.
Did you hear about the guy who fell off the merry-go-round?
He's in fair condition.
Did you read that book about falling down the stairs?
It’s a step by step guide.
Did you hear about the guy who fell onto an upholstery machine?
It’s ok. He’s fully recovered.
Why did the man fall into the watering hole?
Because he could not see that well.