What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Who do you call if you need a really big boat to move two of every animal?
I Noah guy.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There isn't a menu. You just get what you deserve.
What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney?
Father-in-law.
What do you call a meditating wolf?
Aware wolf.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Did you hear about the opera singing monk?
He took a vow of Pavarotti.
What do you call someone who only believes in 12.5% of the bible?
An eighth-theist.
Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.