How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has to really want to be changed.
How many Germans does it take to not change a light bulb?
Nein.
How many CEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. The CEO holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.
How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Both of them.
How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? It’s just going to go out again anyway.
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes six visits.
How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion, but some action items need to be discussed offline. The board will circle back to it next week.
How many South Americans does it take to screw a light bulb?
Probably no more than a Brazilian.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Some obscure number you probably never heard of.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.
How many egomaniacs does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds the lightbulb in the socket and the whole world revolves around him.
How many teenagers does it take to change a light bulb?
Whatever.
How many tough guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Who's askin'?
How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb?
Wait. Why? Who wants to know?
How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
At least three or four. But they'll swear up and down that it was just as easy as it would be for a Mac user.
How many government employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer pending. They have formed a task force to study the problem.
How many tech-support people does it take to change a light bulb?
Please continue to hold. Your call is very important to us.
How many do-it-yourselfers does it take to change a light-bulb?
Four. One to hold the ladder on the top folding chair, one to support the tall end of the ladder with a broom stick, one to hammer the bulb into a faucet, and one to record the whole thing for Internet fame.
How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
They might report that the room is dark, but that's as far as that goes.
How many Tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.
How many talking heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Is it one...or two? One...or two?
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, if it's an ordinary light bulb. But dang, you should have seen the size of the light bulb that got away!
How many psychedelic jam band fans does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it. They just follow it around for thirty years and watch it burn out.
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Look, a bunny!
How many US Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But it takes a generation and they'll replace it with a bulb that's just as broken.