Why did Chewbacca get sent back down to the minor leagues?
He was just making too many wookie mistakes.
Did you finally watch that documentary on clocks?
It's about time.
Why didn't the pirates go to the scary movie?
It was rated RRRRRR.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
Darn it! Foiled again!
What did Obi Wan say to Luke Skywalker when they ran out of clean spoons?
Use the forks, Luke.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself on the big screen TV?
HDMI.
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
What Jedi is the best with Photoshop?
Adobe Wan Kenobi
What was Sherlock Holmes’ favorite school lunch?
Mystery meat.
Have you heard about the world's most famous water spy?
Bond. Hydrogen Bond.
Why couldn’t Luke Skywalker find love?
He was looking in Alderaan places.
What Star Wars character swears the most?
R2-D2. They have to bleep out every word he says.
Why did Star Wars movies 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
Why doesn't Yoda lend money?
He's a little short.
How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?
They always single file, to hide their numbers.
Did you hear about the sale at the Darth Maul?
Everything was half off.
How does Wicket get around Endor?
Ewoks wherever he goes.
Did you hear about Han Solo's barbeque?
The meat was chewy.
What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Lukewarm.
Did you hear about the girl who got a face tattoo of her favorite Star Wars character?
You should’ve seen the Luke on her face.
How does Albus get into Hogwarts?
Through the Dumble-door.
What do you call the wizard who fell down the stairs?
Tumbledore.
Who is Bruce Lee’s vegan brother?
Brocco Lee.
Did you see the movie about the hurricane and the tornado?
I won't spoil it, but there's a twist.
What do you call a scared young Jedi?
Panickin' Skywalker.
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.
What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
What do the movies "Titanic" and "The Sixth Sense" have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call it when Wonder Woman does too many drugs?
Heroine overdose.
Why is Snow White say while waiting for photographs to arrive?
Someday my prints will come!
Why don’t geologists like scary movies?
They might be petrified.
Why don't Imperial Stormtroopers play blackjack?
They can't hit anything.
What does orange juice watch on movie night?
Pulp fiction.
What does Batman use to wash his hair?
Conditioner Gordon.
What's another name for the Periodic Table of elements?
The atoms family.
Did you hear about the guy who froze at the drive-in?
He went to see "Closed for the Winter".
What do you call a reptile in Australia?
The Lizard of Oz.
What did Robocop say to Schrodinger's cat?
Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
Why was General Yoda afraid of April?
Because March, April May.
Why don’t the Jedi have a Navy?
Because a life at sea is a path to the dock side.
Why is the Magician's Exam the hardest to pass at Hogwart's?
They're all trick questions.
Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see Closed for the Winter.
What do you call a pompous Hobbit?
Bilbo Braggins.
How is the Force like duct tape?
It has a light side and a dark side and it binds the universe together.
Why was Star Wars released in the order of episode 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9?
In charge of the order, Yoda was.
Why isn't C3PO made out of glass?
Because then he'd be C through PO.
Why is Captain Kirk's greatest enemy so dangerous?
Whenever he's on screen, there are Khan sequences.
What's the difference between a romantic comedy and a horror movie?
In a romantic comedy, people die on the inside.
Because he's got such little legs.
What's a good password that's at least eight characters long?
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
How does Spider-Man pay for a piece of candy?
Spidey cents.
What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate?
Spruce Lee.
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky.
How does Kylo Ren spend father's day?
Solo.
How come Yoda didn't make it as an archeologist?
He insisted there was no "Tri"certatops.
What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
Pulp Friction.
What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A Toy-Yoda.
What disease do some unlucky dinosaurs get?
Jurassic Parkinsons.