What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
Why did the skeleton fail his test?
He was kind of a bonehead.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
The teacher woke him up.
What did the kid say when his teacher asked him to name two pronouns?
Who? Me?
Why was the broom late to school?
It over-swept.
Why are cross-eyed teachers so bad?
They can’t control their pupils.
Why couldn't the music teacher start his car?
His keys were on the piano.
How do math teachers get warm in a cold room?
They go to the corner, where it's ninety degrees.
What do elves learn in kindergarten?
The elfabet.
Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground?
It was a knot-for-profit business.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Which state is the smartest?
Alabama - it has four As and a B.
Why did Rudolph have a bad report card?
Because he went down in History.
How come no one picks statistics as their favorite subject?
It’s just average.
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
What did the buffalo say when he dropped his little boy off at school?
Bison!
Why was the student’s report card wet?
It was below C level.
What was Sherlock Holmes’ favorite school lunch?
Mystery meat.
What did the bully want for lunch?
He was definitely asking for a knuckle sandwich.
Where do trees learn math?
Elementree school.
What do you call a cat teacher?
A purrfessor.
Why did the student worry about using a calculator for the first time?
She wasn't sure she could count on it.
How did the student manage to get an 'A' on their origami assignment?
She just turned her paper into her teacher.
What's the problem with perforated paper?
It's just tearable.
What is orange and red and full of disappointment?
High school lunch pizza.
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
Graduated, whatever, but I have more degrees.
What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance?
Absent-minded.
Why is the average student's report card patriotic?
It goes from C to shining C.
Why did Lucy decide to become a teacher?
Because she wanted to inspire the next generation of humans to make the same mistakes she did.
Why is the Magician's Exam the hardest to pass at Hogwart's?
They're all trick questions.
What is the easiest way to ruin a Friday?
Finding out it's actually Monday.
Why are fish always swimming in schools?
Because they can never get above C level.
What is the most reliable way to get straight A's in school?
Use a ruler.
Why does fresh juice have a hard time in school?
It can't concentrate.
What does the average high school football player get on their SAT?
Drool.
Why did the girl name her eraser "confidence"?
It got smaller every time she made a mistake.
What do you get when your teacher is a vampire?
Blood tests.
Why did the science kid recite the alphabet as A B C D E F G water P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Because he heard water was H2O.
What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky.
What is the worst thing about Ancient History Class?
The teachers tend to Babylon.