Where do ghosts go on holidays?
The Boohamas.
Why don’t mummies take vacations?
The last thing they want to do is relax and unwind.
Why is dropping a thanksgiving meal like an international incident?
It includes the fall of Turkey, the breakup of China, and Hungary people in revolt.
What does the Easter Bunny order at the coffee shop?
Egg-spresso.
What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?
14-carrot gold.
What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Just a little quiche.
How can you save money on Valentine's gifts?
Be single.
What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?
I have a crutch on you.
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day?
He gave her a great big hog.
What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valentiny.
Why don't politicians decorate their homes for Halloween?
They prefer to leave their skeletons in the closet.
Why is it hard to select the worst Father's Day gift?
It's usually a tie.
What do fish sing during winter?
Christmas corals.
What do you call a fear of New Year's Eve?
Old Langxiety.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets.