Did you hear about the poor man who was attacked by a mime?
He endured unspeakable things.
Did you hear about the pun that walked into a room and killed ten people?
Pun in, ten dead.
What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a big fight, and 2021.
What do you call a knight who doesn’t like to fight?
Sir Render.
Why did the ducks in the park attack a dog?
They heard he was pure bread.
What happened when someone threw a bottle of omega-3 vitamins?
The injuries were super fish oil.