What did the fish say when he hit a wall?
Dam!
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish.
What is the most expensive fish to swim with?
A shark. It can cost an arm and a leg.
Why is the ocean embarrassed?
Because all of the fish can see its bare bottom.
Why does an octopus laugh a lot?
Because it always has ten tickles.
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
What do you call a fish with no legs?
A fish
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why can't eagles mate with eels?
That's eel eagle.
Why should you never accept free tuna?
It's fishy.
Why don't clams lift weights?
They don't have mussels.
What does a fish say after voicing its opinion?
Let minnow what you think.
What did the police find at the scene of the aquarium accident?
Squid marks.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Why are fish always swimming in schools?
Because they can never get above C level.
What do you call a fake goldfish?
A dekoi.
Where do shrimp sell their collectables?
At a prawn shop.
How do fish get to the hospital?
In a clam-bulance.
What is a fish's favorite game?
Salmon says.
How do fish stay so healthy?
They take plenty of vitamin sea.
What do fish sing during winter?
Christmas corals.
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, if it's an ordinary light bulb. But dang, you should have seen the size of the light bulb that got away!
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A two knee fish.
Did you know that fish can breakdance?
Only for about a minute, though. And only once.
If your kid refuses to eat fish, what's a good alternative?
Cats. Cats love fish.
What do you call vegan seafood?
Artifishal.
What happened when someone threw a bottle of omega-3 vitamins?
The injuries were super fish oil.
Why did the doofus laugh when a women yelled out, "Help! Shark!"
He knew the shark was definitely not going to help that woman.
What do you call it when fish are too old to have babies?
Minnow pause.