Why couldn't the Founding Fathers get a date?
The ladies thought they were revolting.
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
He refused to lie.
Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?
Because the US gave the UK the L back in 1776.
What's the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face and one has his face on a bill.
What was George Washington's least favorite breakfast?
Eggs Benedict Arnold.