What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two!
What kind of music do bubbles hate?
Pop music.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of music do balloons dislike?
Pop music.
What kind of music did pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
Why didn't the pony sing at the concert?
He was just a little horse.
Why do true musicians never play instruments by ear?
Because it always sounds better if they use their hands.
What do you call grapes playing the guitar?
A jam session.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish.
Why couldn't the music teacher start his car?
His keys were on the piano.
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?
Talonted.
What do you call a musician with problems?
A trebled man.
What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument?
A tuba toothpaste.
Why did the hard-of-hearing man forbid his children from going to the symphony?
He heard there would be a lot of sax and violins.
What do you call a group of killer whales that play instruments?
An orca-stra.
What kind of music do windmills like?
They are really big metal fans.
What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music?
Guac and roll.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip pop.
What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear faced lyre.
Why is it so tempting to sing the chorus of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"?
It's a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What's the difference between God and a rock star?
God doesn't walk around thinking he's a rock star.
Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?
Because he was Haydn.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't gotten a gig.
What do you call a bashful piano composer that smokes?
Shycoughski
Why is it hard to open a piano?
Because the keys are on the inside.
Why did Van Gogh devote himself to painting?
He didn't have an ear for music.
Why did they name the printer Bob Marley?
It kept jammin'.
Did you hear about the opera singing monk?
He took a vow of Pavarotti.
What’s the difference between black-eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song. Chickpeas can hummus one.
What do you call friends you listen to music with?
Earbuds.
How do you call a cellist?
With a cello-phone.
What is a mime’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
What part of your body is the most musical?
Your nose. You can pick it and you can blow it.
Who might you meet on a dating site for roofers?
All the shingle ladies.
How many Tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
Did you hear how ancient South American owls used to carefully harmonize?
The were Inca hoots.
Why are musicians afraid of the key of E minor?
It gives them the E B G Bs.
How many psychedelic jam band fans does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it. They just follow it around for thirty years and watch it burn out.
What happens when you play a country song backwards?
You get a new truck, a new wife, and a new dog.
What do they call the boss at Old McDonald’s farm?
He's the C-I-E-I-O.
What did the Beatles fanatic say when an album from his collection was stolen?
Help!
Why do pirates make great singers?
Because they always hit the high C.
Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord?
Because it was baroque.
Did you hear about the crazy little creature in the Paris subway who claps in rhythm?
They call him the metro gnome.