Why is the letter 'A' like a flower?
Because a 'B' is always hovering nearby.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. There’s a mile between the first letter and the last letter.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition.
What's the benefit of knowing sign language?
It's handy in lots of ways.
How can you tell a plumber from a chemist?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
C, eh, N, eh, D, eh.
Did you read the review about the new Broadway show on the History of Language?
Turns out it's just a play on words.
Why do you need to be careful with a bowl of alphabet soup?
It could spell disaster.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation mark?
A period. It's the most common way to end a sentence.
Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?
Because the US gave the UK the L back in 1776.