Why is it hard to understand volunteers?
Because they make no cents.
Why do they say talk is cheap?
Because the supply always outweighs the demand.
Why is a good speech like a mini skirt?
Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention.
How do telegraph operators apologize?
Remorse code.
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
Norse Code.
How do you break up with a farmer?
Write a John Deere letter.
When should you refuse to stand up for what you believe in?
When you believe in sitting down.
How did the man describe the symptoms when asked about his hearing loss?
It's a funny animated show about yellow people.
Why was Igor fired from his job as an interrogator?
He didn't ask why.
Did you hear about Jack, who speaks to his crops?
Jack and the beans talk.
Why don’t people play basketball with garbagemen?
They're always talking trash.
How do you call a cellist?
With a cello-phone.
What did the Maki say to the Nigiri?
Wasabi!
Why did the telegraph operators fall in love?
They just clicked.
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
Why was one element refusing to speak to the other element?
He was mad atom.