Why did the philosopher wear wrapping paper?
He wanted to live in the present.
How does Schrodinger apologise?
Sorry not sorry.
Why did the existential nihilist cross the road?
Who cares?
When should you refuse to stand up for what you believe in?
When you believe in sitting down.
What did the Nihilist whisper into his lover's ear?
Sweet Nothings.
What did Robocop say to Schrodinger's cat?
Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist?
A flossopher.
How do you respoond to someone who suggests you should question everything?
Why?
What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
A philosiraptor.
How come Yoda didn't make it as an archeologist?
He insisted there was no "Tri"certatops.
What's the difference between theory and practice?
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Why should you never blame others for the road you're on?
It's your own asphalt.