What do call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face?
Too close for comfort food.
What did the bully want for lunch?
He was definitely asking for a knuckle sandwich.
Why did the girl's enemy sign her cast?
She wanted to add insult to injury.
What did the 90° angle say after an argument?
"It turns out, I was right!"
Why did the computer get mad at the printer?
Because it didn’t like its toner voice.
Did you hear about how people fought when the boat paddles went on sale?
It was quite an oar deal.
Why did she quit her job at the helium factory?
She simply refused to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Why don't dentists get along with manicurists?
They fight tooth and nail.
How many tough guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Who's askin'?
Why should you not challenge someone with bird puns?
Toucan play at that game.
What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
I'm a cashew!
What did the woman say when a man threw milk at her?
How dairy!
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why doesn't the Hulk tell jokes?
Nobody would survive the punch line.
Why shouldn't you challenge Death to a pillow fight?
No one is prepared for the reaper cushions.
When they're not on the same page.
What did villain say to the clock that would not stop ticking?
We have ways of making you tock.
What's the worry when you're poked by a head of lettuce?
It's just the tip of the iceburg.
What did the axe wielding hero say to the evil talking tree?
He said, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Why don't bars allow jumper cables inside?
They're always starting something.
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon?
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
Why was one element refusing to speak to the other element?
He was mad atom.
What did the wife say when her husband replaced their bed with a trampoline?
She really hit the ceiling.