Why is a good speech like a mini skirt?
Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention.
Why is the Army so strict about uniforms?
To minimize casual tees.
What do you call a well dressed jungle cat?
A dandy lion.
What does a spider bride wear?
A webbing dress.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
A barberqueue.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers.
How can you tell if a mathematician is into figure skating?
Look for the Fibonacci sequins.
What did the sales lady say when asked if their fancy underwear was satin?
She said no. It was all brand-new.
What do you say when you tickle a fashionista?
Gucci Gucci Gucci.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
How do cows make themselves pretty?
Cowsmetics.
What do you call a belt made out of $100 bills?
A waist of money.
Where to cat divas go to the bathroom?
In a glitter box.
When do police get called to the rabbit salon?
When someone is having a bad hare day.
Why did the envelope take so long to get ready?
It had to get addressed for the trip to the mailbox.
What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on a head. I’ll hang around here.
Why do hippies like corduroy?
It's groovy.