Where did the doofus go to buy electricity?
The outlet mall.
Why did the doofus put TGIF on his shoes?
Toes go in first.
Why did the doofus get fired from being an elevator operator?
He couldn't remember the route.
Why did the doofus dislike M&M candies?
They were too hard to peel.
How do you get a one-armed doofus out of a tree?
Wave to him.
Why did the doofus keep empty bottles in the refrigerator?
For friends that don't drink.
How do you keep a doofus in suspense?
I'll tell you later.
Why did the doofus and his girlfriend eat their pizza while standing on the box?
It said "best consumed by date on package".
Why did the doofus laugh when a women yelled out, "Help! Shark!"
He knew the shark was definitely not going to help that woman.
How did the doofus break his arm while raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.