How do you put a baby spaceship to sleep?
You rocket.
Why did the baby broom decide to go to bed?
It was very sweepy.
Why was the broom late to school?
It over-swept.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!
Why did the police charge the child for refusing a nap?
The child was resisting a rest.
Why did the man choose not to sleep for a whole week?
Because that would be too long to sleep.
Why did the campfire sleep in?
It was going out later that night.
What do you call a tired bull?
A bulldozer.
What do you call people who sleep in just one sock?
Tiny.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?
Someone who lies awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Did you know you can get paid for sleeping?
It’s dream job.
What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A roamin' Catholic.
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
He refused to lie.
What do you call it when you're too hungry to sleep?
Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
They're always working the graveyard shift.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
How do you wake up a loafer?
With a shoe horn.
How does a politician go to sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Why did the woman get scared when her foot fell asleep?
She worried it might be coma toes.