Jokes About Boats
What are bald sea captains most worried about?
Cap sizing.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the new doofus navy use glass bottom boats?
So they could see the old doofus navy.
Why was the boat dock nervous?
Pier pressure.
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
Did you hear about how people fought when the boat paddles went on sale?
It was quite an oar deal.
Who do you call if you need a really big boat to move two of every animal?
I Noah guy.
What kind of boat does a vampire have?
A blood vessel.
Why don't sailors play cards?
Someone is always standing on the deck.
When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?
In the Ark-hives.
Why did Sweden paint barcodes on their battleships?
So they could Scandinavian.
What thinks the unthinkable?
An ithberg with a thpeech impediment.
What's a good question to ask someone who might not be able to kayak?
Canoe?
Did you hear about the couple who went canoeing on their first date?
It was pretty row-mantic.
What do you call a soldier filling in for the day?
A submarine.
How do you row a canoe filled with puppies?
Doggie paddle.
When can studying on a ship lead to a better academic outcome?
When it's on a scholarship.
Why don’t the Jedi have a Navy?
Because a life at sea is a path to the dock side.
What happened when the purple ship crashed into the red ship?
Both crews were marooned.
Why can't you trust a centrifuge on a submarine?
It's a subterfuge.
What do you get when you cross the Titanic with a speech impediment?
Something unthinkable.