A drunk was staggering along the road when he saw a woman walking a young child.

"Lady," said the drunk, "that is the ugliest kid I've ever seen in my life. God, that child is ugly!"

As the drunk wandered off, the woman burst into tears. A mailman came to her rescue.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"We've both just been terribly insulted by the rudest drunken loudmouth," sobbed the woman.

"There, there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket, "Don't mind him. It's ok. Have a tissue. And say, here's a banana for the chimp."